Slide- Goo Goo Dolls

i have finally fixed up my blog, even if it took me 3 hours leeching on designer's codes. :P
it's all based on my favourite dave matthews band song.

and look!

Men See You As Choosy

Men notice you light years before you notice them You take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky You aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounter It may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait

hahaha.

so anyway, i'm currently employed by a buffet restaurant. jj, dan and i were feeling darn cocky when we took up the job interviews. hahaha. it was as though everybody else looked a little more desperate, and we were simply cruising through every opportunity. i like. ;)

this is a point in life where it feels more like the end of the year than December 31st. perhaps it's just finishing the school term; i'm really not sure. all i know is that i have to look forward to a start of something else.

i remember the last time i felt that way was when i received my O level results. i literally felt as though some kind of grown-up mentality overwhelmed me at the instant i knew what i wanted to do with my life. right now, i'm living my dream, my aspiration, even though it turns out that i have to fall harder if i really want to follow through.
honestly, i don't know if change is a consequence. i guess we all gradually stay out more, come home later, spend less time with our family, or so i thought. a few nights ago, i relinquished yet another realization that i'm still undisputedly the badass of the family; the one who comes home late all the time, stays at everybody's place except her own, don't eat proper meals, raving animal, bad influence, whatever.

i was never good enough, and in their eyes, i'm certainly not improving now.
it was hurting to hear all that from my kin, but i suppose i cannot say those words are unjustified. perhaps my world has become narrower and it is no longer a priority to regard how they look at me.

again, the selfishness of my nature. apparently, i'm exactly like my dad. i love him still but i never want to end up like him. never.
though, i'll be glad if he can find me an angel.

And I'll do anything you ever
Dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothing that fall
Oh May, put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful

I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide

I blogged @ 3:08 PM